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Signs of Our Times

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember, an amateur built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess ... why can't it get us out?

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over
if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common:
They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I am having an out-of-money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I'm Not afraid of heights, just afraid of widths.

Practice safe eating, always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

I have kleptomania. When it gets bad, I take something for it.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

I am not a perfectionist. My parents were, though.

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Thank you Miz Kitty for this great Background