The best parking place is determined by shade,
instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can make instant sun tea.
You learn that a seat belt
makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95
and you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that in August it takes
only 2 fingers to drive your car.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
You discover that you can get sunburn
through your car window.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside
at 7:30 a.m. before work.
No one would dream of not having air conditioning.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is,
"What if I get knocked out and end up
lying on the pavement and cook to death"?
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The birds have to use potholders
to pull worms out of the ground.
The potatoes cook underground
and all you have to do to have lunch is to
pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice
to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
A sad Arkansan recently prayed, "I wish it would rain.
Not so much for me Lord, 'cuz I've seen it,
but for my 7-year old."
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