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Aaaahhhhhhh Kansas

May 30th
Just moved to Kansas. Now this is a state
that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
Blue Grass Pastures and Flint Hills
blended together.
What a place! Watched the sunset
from a park lying on a blanket.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my home.
I love it here.

June 14th
Really heating up. Got to 100 today.
Not a problem. Live in a air-conditioned home,
drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun
every day like this. I'm turning
into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th
Had the backyard landscaped with prairie flower
plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks.
What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.
How do people get used to this kind of heat?
At least it's a dry heat.
Getting used to it is taking longer
than I expected.

July 15th
Fell asleep by the pool.
(Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though:
got to respect the ol' sun
in a climate like this.

July 20th
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car
when I left this morning.
By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch,
Tabby had swollen up and exploded
over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery.
I told the kids she ran away. The car now
smells like Kibbles. No more pets in this heat!

July 25th
Dry heat, my @#$%^&* . Hot is hot!! The home air
conditioner is on the fritz and
AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and
tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three
nights now. $1,500 in damn house payments
and we can't even go inside.
Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th
115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature
down to about 90.
Stupid repairman @#$%^&* in my pool.
I hate this state.

Aug 8th
If another wise guy cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?", I'm going to tear his throat out.
@#$%^&* heat. By the time I get to work
the radiator is boiling over,
my clothes are soaking wet, and
I smell like roasted Garfield!!

Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a recording:
Hot and sunny.
It's been too hot to live for two months
and the weatherman says it
might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in these barren
@#$%^&* Flint Hills? Water rationing
has been in effect all summer,
so $1,700 worth of Prairie flowers
just dried up and blew into the pool.
Even a sunflower can't live in this heat.

Aug 14th
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew
the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer
came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment
to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th
Worst day of the @#$%^&* summer. I'm not leaving
the house. The monsoon rains finally came
and all they did is to make it muggier than heck.
The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico
with its new $500 windshield. That does it,
we're moving north for some peace and quiet.

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Thank you Miz Kitty for this "HOT" background!