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Pearls of Wisdom...
...and other funny stuff!

The best inheritance parents can give their children
is a few minutes of their time each day.
-- O. A. Battista

Each day comes bearing its own gifts.
Untie the ribbons."
Ruth Ann Schabacker

Be Assured.....
that good health is your divine right.
Every cell in your body is intelligent
and knows how to heal itself.

"Friendship is honey -
but don't eat it all."
Moroccan proverb

If you have trouble getting your children's attention,
just sit down and look comfortable.

"I'm an ordinary sort of fellow -
42 around the chest, 42 around the waist,
96 around the golf course,
and a nuisance around the house."
-Groucho Marx

Experience is the only prophecy of wise men.
Alphonse de Lamartine

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of
sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
Clive Staples Lewis

Good men have the fewest fears.
Christian Nestell Bovee

The future is made of the same stuff as the present.
Simone Weil

I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened
that where I was flying made what I was doing spying.
~ Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot
held by the Soviets for spying, in an interview
after he was returned to the U.S.

Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die.
Rich Jeni

My cousin just died. He was only 19.
He got stung by a bee -
the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
Lenny Clarke

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones
is the way you use them.
American Proverb

We have met the enemy...and they is us.
So says Pogo, as written by Walt Kelly

"It's no good saying one thing and thinking another."
Catherine Cookson

"What is the best government?
That which teaches us to govern ourselves."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Be gentle to all, and stern with yourself."
Teresa of Avila

"A man of genius has been seldom ruined but by himself."
Samuel Johnson

I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill
live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the
23% who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jeff Green

The secret of happiness is not in doing
what one likes to do, but in liking
what one has to do."
Sir James M. Barrie

What's so friendly about "friendly fire"?

You may not like Mondays, but they
are one-seventh of your life.
"The Vent"

A woman's definition of the perfect husband:
A man who is convinced he has the perfect wife.

Whenever I hear Pavlov's name, it rings a bell.
"The Vent

Where am I going and why am I
in this hand basket?
"The Vent"

The most insincere and untruthful words ever spoken:
"Your call is important to us.
Someone will be with you shortly."
"The Vent"

Bumper sticker seen on a cookie delivery truck:
"Driver carries no money; he's married."

My doctor asked me if I'd thought about losing some weight.
I told him I'd thought about it for 20 years.

How do people with no teeth
open those little packages
of ketchup and mustard?
"The Vent"

Where do nudists carry their change?
"The Vent"

I've found that luck is quite predictable.
If you want more luck, take more chances.
Be more active. Show up more often.
Brian Tracy

Success is just a matter of luck,
all you need to do is ask a failure.
History may be written by academics
but it's rarely created by them.
Source Unknown

At some time in everyone's life
they will stumble across opportunity.
Sadly, most people will pick themselves up
and walk away as though nothing
had ever happened
Winston Churchill

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